OHbaby! Forums : Bizarre things people say https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Fri, 03 Apr 2026 17:56:10 +0000 Sat, 26 Jan 2008 08:39:35 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.04 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=13836 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : Hey Vanillabean, i bleed from...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=286657&title=bizarre-things-people-say#286657 Author: Kazzle
Subject: 13836
Posted: 26 January 2008 at 8:39am

Hey Vanillabean, i bleed from from tuesday morning until saturday night so 5 days for me, and for me it was like a period just heavier, and then 3 days later i had my hcg levels tested and they were back to normal...I know what you are going through is really hard, and there isnt a lot i can say that can ease the pain, but please do ring me if you want to chat ]]> Sat, 26 Jan 2008 08:39:35 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=286657&title=bizarre-things-people-say#286657 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : Thanks Kazzle Mostly feeling...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=286457&title=bizarre-things-people-say#286457 Author: Vanillabean
Subject: 13836
Posted: 25 January 2008 at 8:25pm

Thanks Kazzle

Mostly feeling quite sad, which I guess is normal. I usually cry a bit in the morning before I go to work and then again when I come home. I found it really hard the first couple of days back when none of my immediate colleagues knew and I had to pretend nothing was wrong. Also whenever I rang up for my hcg test results, part of me kept expecting them to say "its looks like you're still pregnant after all." But of course, each time they actually told me that my levels were dropping and they believe that I'm miscarrying. No kidding.

Now I'm just worried that its going to take ages for my cycle to get back to normal. I have been bleeding since Saturday but it has not been very heavy, not much in the way of cramps and not really red bleeding either. They told me to come back if I'm still bleeding in a week but I think even if I'm not I'm going to ask them to test my hcg again just to confirm that its all over.]]> Fri, 25 Jan 2008 20:25:51 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=286457&title=bizarre-things-people-say#286457 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : MmmIt&#039;s nice to think of...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=286222&title=bizarre-things-people-say#286222 Author: mum2paris
Subject: 13836
Posted: 25 January 2008 at 1:16pm

MmmIt's nice to think of it that way Sheza isn't it, I sometimes feel that everything happened the way it did because i wouldn't have coped had it continued, with having to move house, complete work deadlines then having my grandfather die, I would never have been able to rush up there at the last minute to say goodbye to him had i had a new bubs or been ready to pop, And with this extended period of mike being off study that we hadn't imagined. we would have been broke and down and out if i wa son maternity leave too.

I also like to think that the reason my grandaddy was burried on the same day that had been my EDD is some way of letting me know that they're up there together and my baby has someone to look after it.]]> Fri, 25 Jan 2008 13:16:54 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=286222&title=bizarre-things-people-say#286222 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : Yeah I got all those comments...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=286072&title=bizarre-things-people-say#286072 Author: Shezamumof3
Subject: 13836
Posted: 25 January 2008 at 9:56am

Yeah I got all those comments aswell, they really pissed me off as I just didnt want to hear even if I knew some of them were true. Its like...when you have had a m/c you KNOW something was wrong, and you KNOW you m/c for a reason, but you dont need or want to hear it! My boss didnt seem overly sympathetic when I m/c last year, she started going on about how she knows its hard as some of her friend have m/c, but then I felt like saying , No you dont know what its like, you have two healthy children and you have never lost a baby so you dont know what its like or how hard it is until you have lost one yourself. Also my other boss said to me(a month after thw m/c while they were having a meeting wih me to tell me I wasnt doing a good enough job!!!!) that he believes "Everything happens for a reason" and I wanted to punch him. I left that job not long after that.

I think that sometimes people just dont know what to say, and thats fine, a hug and no words can help SOOO much more than saying "It wasnt meant to be" or 'Everything happens for a reason".

My DF and I think now, that maybe the wee baby we lost was meant to be cadens little guradian angel, and that helps us when we feel a bit sad about losing the baby, we know that he/she is watching over this little baby in my tummy.

Edited by Sheza]]> Fri, 25 Jan 2008 09:56:28 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=286072&title=bizarre-things-people-say#286072 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : urgh i hated the idea of that...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=284969&title=bizarre-things-people-say#284969 Author: mum2paris
Subject: 13836
Posted: 23 January 2008 at 11:54pm

urgh i hated the idea of that real baby thing "at least it's not a real baby yet, at least it's early", I had a friend who had an abortion at 8+ weeks, and She found it so hard to comprehend that i was grieving over this fully formed beautiful baby I had seen up there on that screen that was just missing a heart beat when she hadn't thought of it that way. I guess, once you have had kids of your own already you know what you are missing even more, because that little bean up there on that screen doesn't just represent the here and now, it represents all your hopes and dreams, all the xmases to come all the birthdays and special occasions you've already imagined, all the stuff you know and love from your kids you already have, gone. And sadly, it can take away from those occasions when they come around and baby isn't there to share them as you had hoped and dreamed of, you still try and be happy but some part is always missing.]]> Wed, 23 Jan 2008 23:54:25 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=284969&title=bizarre-things-people-say#284969 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : Kaz that is what I say to people...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=284486&title=bizarre-things-people-say#284486 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 13836
Posted: 23 January 2008 at 4:58pm

Kaz that is what I say to people that have close family members die. I have never been through it so I straight say to them I'm sorry but I don't know what you are going through but hugs.

OMG Pearls the dr said that to me.

]]> Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:58:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=284486&title=bizarre-things-people-say#284486 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : Or how about, &#034;it&#039;s...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=284443&title=bizarre-things-people-say#284443 Author: HippyMama
Subject: 13836
Posted: 23 January 2008 at 4:07pm

Or how about, "it's good that at least it was early on".. !? ]]> Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:07:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=284443&title=bizarre-things-people-say#284443 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : yeah i agree kazzle..i also get...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=284396&title=bizarre-things-people-say#284396 Author: ElfsMum
Subject: 13836
Posted: 23 January 2008 at 3:33pm

yeah i agree kazzle..i also get how people dont know what to say but really!!!!! as for the supermarket incident i can totally understand.. ]]> Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:33:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=284396&title=bizarre-things-people-say#284396 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : kawwww wrote:of course I hated...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=284385&title=bizarre-things-people-say#284385 Author: Kazzle
Subject: 13836
Posted: 23 January 2008 at 3:19pm

Originally posted by kawwww kawwww wrote:

of course I hated the it happens for a reason it was just natures way..but since I've been pregnant I get 'oh well at least you can get pregnant again' and many other comments implying that I'm replacing my last baby with this one so i should just 'get over it and be grateful' (someone actually said that) GRR!


ohhh i had this excate comment just 2 days ago, and i can tell you, if my toddler was feral, then i was down right all out there wild women, i went right off my nut (in the supermarket of all places). I wont repeat what i said as its not for nice ears...lets just say this person left in tear and isnt talking to me at the moment....I also have to admit that while i feel bad for the way i handled it, im not sorry for what i said.

This has to be the worst comment i get, but my best comment (the one that tends to make me feel better) is when someone says to me "i dont know what you are going through, or i dont know what to say, but i am thinking of you"...cos i find that if you dont know what to say then say so, and it will be okay...and it shows that you care as well

How r u doing vanillabean, remember ring me anytime you need to]]> Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:19:59 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=284385&title=bizarre-things-people-say#284385 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : OMG yes Kawwww I had one friend...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=284314&title=bizarre-things-people-say#284314 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 13836
Posted: 23 January 2008 at 2:17pm

OMG yes Kawwww I had one friend say that to me "well at least you know you can get pregnant". Not the best time to say it.

]]> Wed, 23 Jan 2008 14:17:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=284314&title=bizarre-things-people-say#284314 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : of course I hated the it happens...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=284030&title=bizarre-things-people-say#284030 Author: ElfsMum
Subject: 13836
Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:22am

of course I hated the it happens for a reason it was just natures way..but since I've been pregnant I get 'oh well at least you can get pregnant again' and many other comments implying that I'm replacing my last baby with this one so i should just 'get over it and be grateful' (someone actually said that) GRR! ]]> Wed, 23 Jan 2008 09:22:06 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=284030&title=bizarre-things-people-say#284030 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : I hated the &#034;It happens to...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=284025&title=bizarre-things-people-say#284025 Author: newmum
Subject: 13836
Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:16am

I hated the "It happens to lots of women" comments! At that stage I DIDN'T CARE if it happened to someone else because it was ME that was going through it - does that make sense?? (I care now about others going through it of course but in the moment...)]]> Wed, 23 Jan 2008 09:16:59 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=284025&title=bizarre-things-people-say#284025 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : After having had bleeding with...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283936&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283936 Author: yummymummy
Subject: 13836
Posted: 23 January 2008 at 2:50am

After having had bleeding with both my pregnancies and knowing how heartbreaking it is to think you may be losting the baby, I still wouldn't know what to say.
Big hugs to you anyways

Edited by yummymummy]]> Wed, 23 Jan 2008 02:50:43 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283936&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283936 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : I was always taught that if you...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283893&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283893 Author: MummyFreckle
Subject: 13836
Posted: 22 January 2008 at 10:42pm

I was always taught that if you dont know what to say - then its better to say nothing. Except that backfires in these situations because it can come across as being indifferent / cold / unsupportive! Its always hard to know what to say to a friend who is hurting, especially after something as sad as a m/c.

Sometimes a hug is better than words anyway.....

]]> Tue, 22 Jan 2008 22:42:31 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283893&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283893 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : Oh i loved those comments,. I...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283888&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283888 Author: mum2paris
Subject: 13836
Posted: 22 January 2008 at 10:29pm

Oh i loved those comments,. I think the best one was "It happens for a reason, there was probably something wrong with it for that to happen" Yep maybe there was, lets rub it in that after 2 great kids you finally got something wrong and you can't actually change that. It made me so angry, then it makes you scared that maybe your first 2 were flukes and the next will have something wrong with it. argh, stupid peoples comments.

Edited by mum2paris]]> Tue, 22 Jan 2008 22:29:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283888&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283888 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : My friend was really trying hard...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283870&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283870 Author: Vanillabean
Subject: 13836
Posted: 22 January 2008 at 9:56pm

My friend was really trying hard to say the right thing and she noticed that it wasn't being well received and apologised. I know she meant well, but it felt awful.]]> Tue, 22 Jan 2008 21:56:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283870&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283870 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : I agree Liz, I can be especially...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283863&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283863 Author: Maya
Subject: 13836
Posted: 22 January 2008 at 9:52pm

I agree Liz, I can be especially bad as i deal with being nervous by talking, and when I am nervous-talking I don't think thru what I am going to say. Pre my last miscarriage I probably would have put my foot in it big time. Ahh the benefits of experience ]]> Tue, 22 Jan 2008 21:52:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283863&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283863 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : I hate &#034;it happens for a...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283770&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283770 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 13836
Posted: 22 January 2008 at 9:00pm

I hate "it happens for a reason" I got told that by all of my friends when I had my MC. Yes I did know that but you didn't need to rub it in.

]]> Tue, 22 Jan 2008 21:00:11 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283770&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283770 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : in all honesty, before i started...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283743&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283743 Author: lizzle
Subject: 13836
Posted: 22 January 2008 at 8:40pm

in all honesty, before i started coming onto ohbaby those were the kinda things I would say. never having had a miscarriage, when someone tells you they have had one, i know my instinct is to freak slightly and try to avoid the subject. nowadays I would deal with it differenlty but without the lovely ladies here who talk about things openly (about how comments like these upset them, i would never had known)

perhaps saying something like "oh, i told an old friend about my miscarraige and they said "inappropriate comment here". it made me feel so bad. it sould have been better if they just gave me a hug and said how sorry they were"

this might get your point acorss and get some much needed support. unless of course your friend doesn't take subtle hints.]]> Tue, 22 Jan 2008 20:40:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283743&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283743 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : Yes also very anoying is the &#034;...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283734&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283734 Author: emmaohara
Subject: 13836
Posted: 22 January 2008 at 8:34pm

Yes also very anoying is the " It happened for a reason" and my all time favourite " Its natures way"...... hmmmm ]]> Tue, 22 Jan 2008 20:34:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283734&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283734 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : Niiice! I got &#034;oh well you&#039;re...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283645&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283645 Author: Maya
Subject: 13836
Posted: 22 January 2008 at 7:02pm

Niiice! I got "oh well you're only young, you'll get pregnant again" and "It wasn't *really* a baby" ]]> Tue, 22 Jan 2008 19:02:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283645&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283645 <![CDATA[Bizarre things people say : I was having coffee with a friend...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283636&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283636 Author: Vanillabean
Subject: 13836
Posted: 22 January 2008 at 6:53pm

I was having coffee with a friend of mine this morning and because she was someone who I trusted and had been supportive in the past I told her about my 5-week miscarriage that happened a couple of days ago in the weekend.

She said "oh well things could be worse" and started to tell me about a friend of hers who was dying of ovarian cancer because she thought this would make me feel better.
]]> Tue, 22 Jan 2008 18:53:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13836&PID=283636&title=bizarre-things-people-say#283636