https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Sat, 04 Apr 2026 14:44:31 +0000 Tue, 18 Mar 2008 22:01:57 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.04 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=15422 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15422&PID=329518&title=how-to-cope#329518 Author: katie1
Subject: 15422
Posted: 18 March 2008 at 10:01pm

I'm so sorry Louie. Sending you big hugs.
One thing that helped for me was just letting myself grieve. I let myself just take it easy for quite a few weeks and didn't bother about doing any exercise, seeing people if I didn't want to and I didn't try and act positive until I was ready to. Like some of the others have said, for me it helped to know the ratio of miscarriages and that lots of people have them and then go on to have healthy babies.
Everyone is different and you need to do whatever is best for you. Do you have a supportive family you can cry to?
Again, I am so sorry and am thinking of you.]]> Tue, 18 Mar 2008 22:01:57 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15422&PID=329518&title=how-to-cope#329518 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15422&PID=329469&title=how-to-cope#329469 Author: mum2paris
Subject: 15422
Posted: 18 March 2008 at 9:40pm

Hey there, I so know what you are going thru, i fact in a few weeks it will have been a year since i went thru it myself, finding out at a routine scan that our baby, though perfect in every other way, had no heartbeat.., Due to the growth size being about right for dates i waited another week for a scan just in case they'd missed it then waited another 2 weeks because of service strikes in the hospital.. and bleeding never started. So for me, i opted for a d&C.. i was terrified of bleeding. so go for what feels right for you.

I work in a NNU, so going back to work for me was kinda hard sometimes to remember where i should be at with all these babies around, but actually not as hard as i thought it would be, I love my job so much it doesn't makea difference.

What the other girls have said is so very true, make sure you get counselling or something as well, have learnt the hard way about that one.....

Edited by mum2paris]]> Tue, 18 Mar 2008 21:40:51 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15422&PID=329469&title=how-to-cope#329469 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15422&PID=329403&title=how-to-cope#329403 Author: Vanillabean
Subject: 15422
Posted: 18 March 2008 at 9:01pm

I have found this site immensely helpful in dealing with the grief and to realise that miscarriage is so common as to be a 'normal' experience. I have also found it helpful to blog about how I was feeling (although I think I may have traumatised some of my blog readers)

I think it is like any big grief and you have to just go through it and it really sux but eventually it stops being a big thing in your life (haven't got there yet myself but definitely feeling less heavy.) I took time of work too (although probably not as much as I should have) just for emotional reasons.]]> Tue, 18 Mar 2008 21:01:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15422&PID=329403&title=how-to-cope#329403 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15422&PID=329283&title=how-to-cope#329283 Author: ElfsMum
Subject: 15422
Posted: 18 March 2008 at 8:15pm

ass i said on other post i waited 5 weeks and it still hadnt happened naturally(didnt wait by choice though).. i was the opposite.i like information but for me i couldnt grasp why it had happened even though eventually we did find out why..i just felt angry and upset and why me.. and esp going back to work at the preschool:( anyway big hugs to you....Pm me if you want to. ]]> Tue, 18 Mar 2008 20:15:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15422&PID=329283&title=how-to-cope#329283 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15422&PID=329219&title=how-to-cope#329219 Author: Maya
Subject: 15422
Posted: 18 March 2008 at 7:47pm

Big hugs Louie, I'm sorry you've found yourself here
Like Cuppatea, I found that being informed helped me to understand (altho there is such thing as information overload!), also allowing yourself to feel what you need to feel when you need to feel it. You'll probably find yourself up and down over the next few weeks as your hormones settle and you start to process things emotionally.
If you think it would help, you can request a d and c instead of waiting for the bleeding to start. Some women prefer to wait for things to happen naturally but others find the waiting is even harder and opt to have the d and c.
Big hugs, thinking of you.]]> Tue, 18 Mar 2008 19:47:50 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15422&PID=329219&title=how-to-cope#329219 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15422&PID=329195&title=how-to-cope#329195 Author: cuppatea
Subject: 15422
Posted: 18 March 2008 at 7:31pm

I had a miscarriage a week and half ago at 6 weeks 2 days, a scan at 6 weeks showed only a gest sac measuring 4 weeks so the bleeding did not come unexpected. I had also been having bloods which had not been promising and was at risk of ectopic, so in some ways it was a relief when it happened as the stress was over and I didn't need to have a DNC or other medical intervention.
As for how to cope, I don't know I'm afraid. Asking questions on here helps as there are other people that have been through it that understand how you feel. I also found looking up all the medical stuff regarding miscarriages and reasons for them helped me (i'm an information person) I also read through a lot of the previous posts on here and it helped to read that other people had gone through the same emotions/thoughts that I am having.

At the moment I am still struggling with when to start trying again and how I actually feel about the miscarriage, whether or not I want to acknowledge it in some way (thinking maybe tattoo) or whether I don't want that reminder etc. Most of the time I just feel flat.

]]> Tue, 18 Mar 2008 19:31:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15422&PID=329195&title=how-to-cope#329195 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15422&PID=329193&title=how-to-cope#329193 Author: Kazzle
Subject: 15422
Posted: 18 March 2008 at 7:29pm

Hi Louie74, i am so sorry you are going through this, its always heartbreaking.

I have had 3 miscarriages in the past 17mths and honestly i dont know how ive coped, its been with a lot of love and support from my family, and my friends here on ohbaby, and i think because i already have a toddler i was too busy to really think about things.

The miscarriages i had before Rhiannon to be honest i just swept under the rug and pretended they never happen.

All i can say is be gentle to yourself, and each other, cry when you need to, yell if you need to, rant, rage, swear do whatever but dont hold the grief in.

Once again im so so so sorry you are going through this, but the girls here are wonderful and you will get a lot of support here]]> Tue, 18 Mar 2008 19:29:25 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15422&PID=329193&title=how-to-cope#329193 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15422&PID=329187&title=how-to-cope#329187 Author: louie74
Subject: 15422
Posted: 18 March 2008 at 7:19pm

Hi guys,
I am a newbie at this but just wanted to know how those who had a miscarriage coped?? I found out a week ago following a scan that at 8 weeks no heartbeat and to expect bleeding. I have had a hell of a week, crying at everything and anything. Its especially worse when I see babies and as I am working in an environment filled with babies and children its really hard.
My husband and I were really looking forward to this baby as we thought we were finally successful through IVF. I feel my friends dont understand as they have never experienced this!!! ]]> Tue, 18 Mar 2008 19:19:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15422&PID=329187&title=how-to-cope#329187