https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Sat, 04 Apr 2026 08:33:44 +0000 Wed, 04 Jun 2008 11:41:26 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.04 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=17892 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17892&PID=403031&title=i-am-a-mess#403031 Author: nellybelly
Subject: 17892
Posted: 04 June 2008 at 11:41am

Big big hugs to you melnel Like the others here I don't think they would do anything without being 100% sure. You don't need to feel ANY guilt! It may be that they should have talked to you more and given you more information - hopefully you will get it from your doc. From my experience they are very very thorough and careful before taking any action like a D&C. So so sorry about your loss hun

]]> Wed, 04 Jun 2008 11:41:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17892&PID=403031&title=i-am-a-mess#403031 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17892&PID=402999&title=i-am-a-mess#402999 Author: cuppatea
Subject: 17892
Posted: 04 June 2008 at 11:18am

I second what everyone else has said.
Also I bought that book that Emma has recommended and I found it really really useful in understanding my feelings and more importantly reading that those feelings were perfectly normal

More ]]> Wed, 04 Jun 2008 11:18:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17892&PID=402999&title=i-am-a-mess#402999 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17892&PID=402924&title=i-am-a-mess#402924 Author: Maya
Subject: 17892
Posted: 04 June 2008 at 10:24am

Big hugs Melnel, I hope your GP is able to put your mind at ease a little, and I think seeing her sooner is a good idea if you can.

I agree with what the others have said, don't doubt yourself for a moment. If anything, doctors tend to err on the side of caution so if they thought there was even the tiniest possibility that your baby might have been viable they would have waited to give things time to develop.

I don't know much about how the system here works these days, I was horrified that a friend had to wait days to have a d and c after her wee babe died. I lost our last angel in Sydney and Royal North Shore were brilliant, I was lucky in that I had the d and c as emergency surgery due to heavy bleeding so there was no waiting or mucking around.

I do think tho that there is a lack of support and acknowledgement after the fact, I very much felt like after I had the d and c I was supposed to go away and forget about it all. They gave me some pamphlets as I left hospital and that was it.

Two places I found great support were The Lost Ones, a brilliant NZ website for people who have experienced the loss of a baby, and also Nicola Miller-Clendon's book Life After Baby Loss which is available in th eOHbaby! online store as well as most good bookshops. I read it long after I had the gremlins as a review copy for OHbaby! and I wish, wish, wish I had read it when I first lost our angel, it is so practical, and made me feel like all the craziness I felt was normal.

Big hugs!
Emma]]> Wed, 04 Jun 2008 10:24:48 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17892&PID=402924&title=i-am-a-mess#402924 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17892&PID=402751&title=i-am-a-mess#402751 Author: VFebery
Subject: 17892
Posted: 04 June 2008 at 6:27am

Hey there

Sending lots of love to you. You have been through such an awful time and you need to be kind to yourself. This hasn't happened because of anything you have or haven't done.

I went through a similar situation in January and can assure you that the medical profession don't make the call lightly (I went through 5 weeks of them running tests before they finally made the call). Bizzy is right...they base their findings on many things and they would have been 100% sure.

I think it's a really good idea to see your doctor asap and ask all those questions you have.

I wish I could help take some of the pain away for you. It will help to have all those questions you have answered.

Take care]]> Wed, 04 Jun 2008 06:27:14 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17892&PID=402751&title=i-am-a-mess#402751 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17892&PID=402738&title=i-am-a-mess#402738 Author: Bizzy
Subject: 17892
Posted: 03 June 2008 at 11:38pm

dont beat yourself up and dont for one minute let yourself think they were wrong.
even if your dates were wrong the scan would take accurate measurements and they would have gone by that. the heartbeat isnt the only thing they would have looked at.
definitely talk to your doctor tho and get them to run thru it all with you.


]]> Tue, 03 Jun 2008 23:38:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17892&PID=402738&title=i-am-a-mess#402738 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17892&PID=402672&title=i-am-a-mess#402672 Author: Kels
Subject: 17892
Posted: 03 June 2008 at 10:32pm

OMgosh hun Im sooo sorry for you are going thru. Sorry I have no idea what to say except big cyber hugs and Im so sorry you are in this situation.

I think it is a good idea to see your Gp as soon as possible to get the answers you need. I would try and get in tomorrow and if they ask you if it is an emergency say yes it is. This a an awful thing for you to be going thru and you need to be explained in depth about what has happened etc.

Goodluck and take care]]> Tue, 03 Jun 2008 22:32:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17892&PID=402672&title=i-am-a-mess#402672 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17892&PID=402660&title=i-am-a-mess#402660 Author: mummyofprinces
Subject: 17892
Posted: 03 June 2008 at 10:26pm

So I think it has all finally sunk in and now I am going through this terrible guilt and anger.

I keep thinking, what if they were wrong? What if my dates were out? Why didnt I question them? Why didnt we wait a week and rescan... why wasnt that suggested.

Nobody explained anything to us. We were just told the baby has died. The radiologist rang my doctor and we went home. The GP who confirmed the pregnancy rang and told me she had referred us to the early loss clinic. The early loss clinic rang and told me come in the next day. My GP rang and told me the clinic was really good and they will look after us.

They then asked us what we wanted, I was in shock it was 24 hours after the scan. No one went over what had happened, explained our options. I said I want this over. I was booked in for the D&C.

I still have no idea how the know the baby was dead, what if my dates were out and the heart hadnt started beating yet...

I have a follow up with my GP on monday, but I think I might try and see her earlier. I am just such a mess... ]]> Tue, 03 Jun 2008 22:26:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17892&PID=402660&title=i-am-a-mess#402660