https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Sat, 04 Apr 2026 08:54:04 +0000 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 20:43:19 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.04 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=39776 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1372020&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1372020 Author: tishy
Subject: 39776
Posted: 05 August 2011 at 8:43pm

I find it appalling that some hospital midwives encourage co-sleeping tbh. I'm sure that there are definite advantages, but given that most new mothers are exhausted, and possibly still on strong pain medication after a c-section, I can't see how this would fit the category of a safe environment to co-sleep.

I know my hospital experience was a NICU one so quite different (and in the high risk category) to the normal. For us it was repeatedly stressed that co-sleeping of any kind was not encouraged. Even as a volunteer at NICU I was not allowed to inform other parents of multiples that my twins top and tailed the same cot for 6 months.

Edited by tishy]]> Fri, 05 Aug 2011 20:43:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1372020&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1372020 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1371883&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1371883 Author: snugglebug
Subject: 39776
Posted: 05 August 2011 at 3:29pm

I was really unsure about having DS sleep on me when I was in hospital, but I was actively encouraged to do it by the nurses as breastfeeding was not going well, and they assured me it was ok and safe. I did have rails on each side of the bed and he was on my chest not next to me, but I never felt comfortable about it at all. I did however in the first few weeks end up with him sleeping on my chest in bed as he would not settle and after 3 or 4 hours I just couldn't stay awake anymore. These days I occasionally bring DS to snguggle in bed on a Saturday morning but he sleeps best in his own bed. It's really unnerving that so many midwives are encouraging this if it can be this unsafe.. I know there's ways to do it safer but I don't know if it will ever be fully safe.

Edited by wiggly_jiggly]]> Fri, 05 Aug 2011 15:29:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1371883&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1371883 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1371217&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1371217 Author: TheKelly
Subject: 39776
Posted: 03 August 2011 at 9:19pm

When I had Mila after the euphoric "I never have to give birth again " vibes ended I was exhausted and the last thing I wanted to do was have my newborn in with me in those narrow high beds.
But they tried to put her in anyway,so I told them that I wanted MY baby in HER bed because I didn't feel safe,and I guess cos of my tone they knew better than to f*ck with me,cos they listened and put her back in her own bed
]]> Wed, 03 Aug 2011 21:19:20 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1371217&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1371217 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1370092&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1370092 Author: ....
Subject: 39776
Posted: 01 August 2011 at 3:52pm

When I'd just had DS most of the midwives were going to put him in with me when he wouldn't settle, until they realized the bed didn't have sides.
On the second night/morning after I'd gotten 20 minutes sleep that night, DS and I dozed off with him resting on my chest and I almost had a heart attack when I woke up three hours later to realize what I'd done, but the midwife assured me that he has good balance from me flipping about when I was pregnant, and he had my boobs on each side so he wasn't going to roll anywhere.]]> Mon, 01 Aug 2011 15:52:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1370092&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1370092 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1369884&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1369884 Author: mummytobesep08
Subject: 39776
Posted: 01 August 2011 at 10:22am

aw that is so heart-breaking

I agree with what someone else said: if you don't feel safe, then don't do it. Though I understand it's hard to feel confident when you are a first time mum so are likely to do what the MWs say!

After having DD, a MW put DD in bed with me while I was having a blood transfusion, so we could have a nap. I literally could not move, so probably doesn't sound the safest but it was actually really nice.

She tucked DD into my hospital gown against my chest, saying "There you are, that's how it's meant to be. Just cuddle up and pretend the whole horrible thing (traumatic birth) never happened" which was so nice because I couldn't move my arms and no-one had helped me hold her. That memory still brings me to tears...though that could be the PG hormones too lol. Think it was safe though as I could not move at all, so couldn't roll on her or knock her out of bed, and she was in my gown so couldn't just roll out, plus it was daytime so there were more staff to come in and check.

Would be so awful to have your baby die through co-sleeping. those poor parents would probably never forgive themselves ]]> Mon, 01 Aug 2011 10:22:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1369884&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1369884 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1364622&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1364622 Author: rachelsea
Subject: 39776
Posted: 19 July 2011 at 12:43pm

Aww that poor family my DD was put in bed with me in the hospital too but they put the rail up and assured me I wouldn't roll on her. Which I didn't, luckily, but didn't get much sleep anyway.
I had a home birth with DS and it seemed the natural thing to do this time, getting into our own comfy bed and snuggling up with him. Definitely wasn't as comfy in the hospital!]]> Tue, 19 Jul 2011 12:43:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1364622&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1364622 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1363407&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1363407 Author: LittleBug
Subject: 39776
Posted: 15 July 2011 at 10:29pm

Gosh, these stories are terrible. All of the midwives that I have worked with have been very aware of safe sleeping practices, I'm appalled by what some of you are saying.

Please - if you feel unsafe sleeping with your baby, don't let it happen. It is your baby, you have the say, even if someone else is being pushy.]]> Fri, 15 Jul 2011 22:29:25 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1363407&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1363407 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1363352&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1363352 Author: Nikki
Subject: 39776
Posted: 15 July 2011 at 8:52pm

That is so sad and scary. The midwives really annoyed me when they kept putting DS in bed with me too. I had 30hours of labour then an emergency c section ... I was still on morphine and could not walk and they kept putting him in with me, despite me putting him back (with difficulty!) after feeding him. I would wake up and he was back on me! I was so exhausted and tired I didn't want to lie there worrying about him I just wanted to relax as much as possible while not feeding and get some sleep!]]> Fri, 15 Jul 2011 20:52:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1363352&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1363352 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1359678&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1359678 Author: Nutella
Subject: 39776
Posted: 08 July 2011 at 6:23pm

That is terrible that midwives were so pushy about making mothers sleep with their babies. I know on my first night they tucked ds in with me, but they wrapped a blanket around the bars so he would not fall out and made it really safe for him, and if I didn't want to they would not have made me.
Bloody hell, that makes me so cross....when DS was first born, I was too weak to hold him so didn't really do the skin on skin and DH had to hold him, so I can imagine how hard that would be for some people to deal with if being forced to hold their babies (and not coz they don't love them but because they DO love them!!!)]]> Fri, 08 Jul 2011 18:23:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1359678&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1359678 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1358577&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1358577 Author: Isabella
Subject: 39776
Posted: 06 July 2011 at 4:24pm

Bowie I completely went through the same thing as you! In the middle of the night feeds the only way I could settle her is to have her on my chest - most of the time I was so exhausted we both drifted off only to awake hours later! I was pretty aware of her on me though and felt pretty safe doing it - I certainly do not think we are 'bad mothers' for doing it that way

And gah it really scares me the MWs putting the newly born creatures in bed with us!! I had a mammoth long labour which ended in an emergency c/s and I was absolutely drained to the core of all energy! I was constantly having to ring the bell because she kept waking up and I couldnt move yet as the epidural was still working - so one MW came in in a big huff and put her on me and just left the room!! Next thing I knew DH was in the room saying what the heck were we doing!!

Scary..]]> Wed, 06 Jul 2011 16:24:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1358577&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1358577 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1357178&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1357178 Author: Laurz_20
Subject: 39776
Posted: 03 July 2011 at 8:05pm

That poor poor family, its not something you ever get over

My DD wouldnt sleep in the hospital so the hospital MW's insisted that I had DD in bed with me despite my protests and explanations that I had lost DS to SIDS so did not feel comfortable having my baby in the bed (we did end up co-sleeping with DD but not until she was 3 months). I had just had a C/S and still couldnt feel my legs to get up and move around to settle her, I got really upset and ended up staying up the whole night petrified that I was going to drop or roll on my baby. I was apaulled that there wasn't more help available.

]]> Sun, 03 Jul 2011 20:05:48 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1357178&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1357178 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1357015&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1357015 Author: Delli
Subject: 39776
Posted: 03 July 2011 at 11:17am

I actually thought it was awesome when my midwife put my first child in bed with me on his first night out of the womb. But I had had a pretty straightforward labour and birth and was not exhausted, just euphoric and excited about my new baby. It was all a bit surreal and I'm forever grateful that my midwife made it "ok" for me to snuggle up with my hours old baby for the whole night. I still love thinking about it now.

The midwives definitely should take into account the energy levels of the mother and whether she is comfortable doing it or not though (which I'm sure most would?).

Very sad about the baby in the article though - I can't even imagine
]]> Sun, 03 Jul 2011 11:17:12 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1357015&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1357015 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356970&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356970 Author: freckle
Subject: 39776
Posted: 03 July 2011 at 8:56am

jules1980 wrote: A LC told me that when your milk is coming down a neurotransmitter is released (esp in the first weeks)which makes you sleepy.

This is why I think it's important to teach mums how to co-sleep safety or to lie down to breastfeed. Then when they do fall asleep they're in a safer position with baby. It is a shame that hospitals aren't better set up to allow safer co-sleeping seeing so many MWs do encourage it. One hospital I was in had the mesh pull up side rail, but the other two didn't...]]> Sun, 03 Jul 2011 08:56:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356970&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356970 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356949&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356949 Author: UpsyDaisy
Subject: 39776
Posted: 02 July 2011 at 11:25pm


A LC told me that when your milk is coming down a neurotransmitter is released (esp in the first weeks)which makes you sleepy. I used to feel this wave of exhaustion as I was feeding the babies...so falling asleep can so easily happen. Off topic and something embarassing there is a picture of me BF DD on a 1/2 circle pillow thing asleep but holding a piece of pizza mouth wide open. I kid you not thanks DH....

Good on you Ricker for standing up for yourself when obviously you were extremely exhausted you should not have been put in that position. ]]> Sat, 02 Jul 2011 23:25:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356949&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356949 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356933&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356933 Author: High9
Subject: 39776
Posted: 02 July 2011 at 9:59pm

I do agree about being so tired, when Lily was 5 weeks old she got the flu and was in hospital and I was so tired from being up and worried that I fell asleep on the spare bed and Lily was in the hospital cot and they had to wake me! First and only time that ever happened to me though. She just has to sniffle and I wake! ]]> Sat, 02 Jul 2011 21:59:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356933&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356933 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356919&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356919 Author: RicKer
Subject: 39776
Posted: 02 July 2011 at 9:23pm

The midwives tried getting me to sleep with DD while at birth care. The beds were narrow and high so i was petrified she would fall off (they weren't against a wall) and i was exhausted so didn't want to risk it. They got really irritated with me and ended up snapping about it. I stuck to my guns and refused and im so glad because i was so exhausted that when i did fall asleep her screaming in her bassinet next to me didn't wake me. The midwives had to come from the other side of the birth care to see what was wrong and wake me themselves. Felt so sorry for the lady in the same room as me.]]> Sat, 02 Jul 2011 21:23:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356919&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356919 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356916&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356916 Author: AandCsmum
Subject: 39776
Posted: 02 July 2011 at 9:21pm

That is so sad, I used to sit up in bed at night & feed #1, I used to fall asleep every time cause I was just so tired.]]> Sat, 02 Jul 2011 21:21:35 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356916&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356916 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356813&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356813 Author: High9
Subject: 39776
Posted: 02 July 2011 at 4:13pm

Lily was in her bassinet in the hospital but after literally buzzing the mw every 20ish mins or there abouts the mw/nurse on duty showed me how to cosleep and tbh we've been doing it ever since but it I hadn't felt capable or anything then I would have spoke up and I was asked if it would be ok to do, was I feeling up to it etc. No way I was getting any sleep anyway! I was also shown how to lay correctly and BF in a position that makes it very hard to roll onto the baby but that's another story/issue and by no means do I like what has happened here. I feel for the families involved. ]]> Sat, 02 Jul 2011 16:13:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356813&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356813 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356752&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356752 Author: Plushie
Subject: 39776
Posted: 02 July 2011 at 12:00pm

The hospital midwifes put DS into bed with me when he was only hours old - i was sleeping with my hand draped across the bassinet so they just popped him in with me. I didnt sleep a wink after that i was terrified, in that high narrow bed!

early on though i used to sleep with DS lying chest to chest with me snuggled under my big person duvet. I'd wake up every morning and feel sick from guilt but he woke 3hrly for the first few months and i was exhausted and i'd just put him there for a second then wake up hours later when he wanted feeding again I still shudder when i think about it because it was such a dangerous position to be in. I know how irresponsible that makes me sound but the exhaustion overwhemled it all!]]> Sat, 02 Jul 2011 12:00:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356752&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356752 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356736&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356736 Author: Bobchannz
Subject: 39776
Posted: 02 July 2011 at 10:46am

I think midwives do it because skin to skin or cuddles in the bed can promote bonding/ breastfeeding and settle the baby.

I agree though, that it really does seem dangerous to do in the hospital environment - especially when you have just given birth. I'm not fond of co-sleeping personally - I know that it is cosy, but I do think that there are too many risks with it for me to be comfortable. Even so, I know that I fell asleep holding my daughter twice in the first couple of weeks - I was just that tired. Luckily she didn't move into an unsafe position either time, but it made me aware how easy it can be to just fall asleep sitting up in the first few weeks! After that I would turn the TV on at night to keep me alert!]]> Sat, 02 Jul 2011 10:46:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356736&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356736 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356734&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356734 Author: caliandjack
Subject: 39776
Posted: 02 July 2011 at 10:37am

My MW left me holding DD when she was only a couple hours old sitting in a chair after having no sleep for the previous 24 hours I was exhausted and I was so scared I was going to drop her. ]]> Sat, 02 Jul 2011 10:37:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356734&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356734 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356727&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356727 Author: UpsyDaisy
Subject: 39776
Posted: 02 July 2011 at 10:19am


http://nz.lifestyle.yahoo.com/practical-parenting/pregnancy-birth/article/-/9760266/newborn-death-sparks-warning/

Poor family.

Midwives put not one but two babies in with me - DD on my chest DS on a pillow next to me! Not like I could move them myself just after a c-section.

The treasures magazine a while ago had a letter to the editor where a midwife had put baby in with exhausted mother and it fell off the bed! Luckily baby was okay.

I just don't understand why the midwives think its okay to put new mums in this compromising position?

ETA sorry couldn't get linky thing to work

Edited by jules1980]]> Sat, 02 Jul 2011 10:19:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39776&PID=1356727&title=newborn-death-sparks-warning#1356727