Family lockdown: the great social experiment
Lockdown with four sons gave political enthusiast Sam Cummins a chance to trial a range of parenting regimes, but mum’s …
Then and now: Baby advice from 1946
Five easy ways to show your kids you love them
Three simple words that say so much. There's nothing a child needs more to grow his or her self-esteem, sense of purpose and security in this world than to know he or she is unreservedly, and whole-heartedly loved. Here are some simple but …
Teaching kids how to manage their emotions
Teaching kids how to manage their emotions starts with more self-awareness of our own, writes Miriam McCaleb. The poet Robert Frost wrote, “The best way out is always through”. This is true of many things: from the mundanity of emptying the …
How to live harmoniously with extended family
The family home takes on a whole new meaning when three generations live together. As Pauline Harris, mother of four and grandmother to five, explains, sharing a house can work on many levels – when the right foundations are in place. As the cost …
Fill their buckets: encouraging words and phrases to say to your child
Parenting expert Amy McCready shares her encouraging words and phrases to say to your child – big or small. Do you ever feel like the only words that come out of your mouth are direct orders? “Empty the trash, be nice to your sister, quit jumping …
Technoference: Do we need to disconnect to reconnect?
Digital technology plays a big role in modern life but its effects on our very foundations - relationships and family - are worthy of discussion. Miriam McCaleb talks tough about technoference. Living in our little slice of the modern world is …
Developing your child's sense of self control
Self-control in childhood is a good indicator of future success. Fortunately, it’s a skill we can help our kids develop and practise, explains Dr Melanie Woodfield. Just control yourself!” Whether you mutter these words in frustration to a …
8 things that mean the world to your child
These simple ideas will help foster a heart-to-heart connection and cost little more than your time. 1. HUGS AND KISSESAffection and love are so important for a child’s emotional and spiritual development. We love the ‘no hurry hug’ – because …
The big question: another child?
Adding kids to your family is much more than simple mathematics. Colin Gruetzmacher works through the equation. How do you know when you’re done? You know, with having kids. We’ve had two close together and have been quite happy managing the hectic …
How to LIKE your real life
A manifesto for real-life parenting in a digital era of distraction. Parenting in the digital age is tricky, and that’s before we’re anywhere near the stage where we have to negotiate our children’s screen time and navigate around their social …
In those days: a wartime babyhood
Acclaimed NZ writer David Hill reflects on his own baby days and childhood in an era influenced by war, rationing and the authority of Plunket. My mum always claimed that the first thing she heard as she came out of the anaesthetic was an old valve …
Why connecting with your kids is vital
Connection with our kids is vitally important. Sheri Silk shows us how to parent with the ultimate goal in mind. Do you find yourself getting stuck in ‘task’ mode as you parent your kids? It’s so easy for the daily grind of parenting to become …
12 ways to be a happier person and parent
Studies show parenting small children can be full of joy yet highly stressful, writes Dr Melanie Woodfield. But there are ways to boost the cheerfulness factor Sitting in a café late at night, she realised she was happy. Chatting with a close …
Unique gifts: parenting gifted or dyslexic children
Two mothers share their stories of having young kids with extreme abilities. It can be a long, winding and fairly expensive road trying to figure out whether your child has special learning needs. However, by 2025, all New Zealand schools will …
Personality plus: temperament types
Dr Melanie Woodfield identifies the influences on temperament and helps parents respond to their children’s individual needs. Pregnancy is a time of anticipation, of wondering what your baby’s little personality will be like as they grow and …
Winning in the witching hour
Young family, early evening: too often this is all it takes for mass meltdown. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Jessie Jarvie shares how to stay one step ahead. It’s the middle of the afternoon and you’ve just nailed your budget presentation at …
Growing superpowers in your child's mind
Miriam McCaleb explains how stopping to simply wonder can grow superpowers of the mind. We’ve learned a lot about brain development in the course of one generation. We developed neuro-imaging technologies: ways of looking beneath the skull and …
Tips for road tripping with young kids
Colin Gruetzmacher checks the rear vision mirror and gets a fresh perspective on hitting the road with his young family in tow. Do you ever have those moments of clarity when things come into focus and you finally feel like you understand your …
Good Enough parenting - You're doing great!
Forget striving to be the best, embrace your flaws and the family chaos because the Good Enough parent is just great, writes Miriam McCaleb. Welcome, dear reader. Let's talk about what's good enough, because embracing Good Enough parenting just …
How to nurture your child with respect
Miriam McCaleb finds out what respect means in the world of parenting, and how it helps raise competent, confident and curious children. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Oh, how we love our babies. And just in case we’re not feeling it, …
Timeless wisdom: advice for new parents
Hindsight paints an illuminating picture. What would you do differently and what do you wish you knew? Miriam McCaleb asks friends and co-workers in the child development field for the parenting advice they would give their younger selves. Once a …
Parenting with purpose: let love take charge
Freedom, love and limits - vital resources in our parenting toolkit if we are to raise kids who can cope in the big wide world. Danny Silk shares an extract from his book, Loving Our Kids On Purpose. Editor’s note We read a lot of tips on parenting …
10 things that I learnt parenting
Sarah Tennant has been parenting for ten years and writing about it in OHbaby! for just as long. Here, with characteristic heart and humour, she reflects on the parenting stretch, and ten things she’s learnt in the process. Has it really been ten …
Earthquakes and upheaval: helping kids cope with trauma
The nightmare of earthquakes has become a reality for many New Zealand children in recent years. Hannah Davison talks about a night her family will never forget and strategies for recovery. 💨 Monday 14th November, 2016, 12.02am. 💨 Depth: 15km. …
10 ways to fight back against technology
To resist technoference taking over your family life, we recommend the following: 1. Read The Big Disconnect by Catherine Steiner-Adair, and check out www.timewellspent.io. 2. Keep playing together. Occasionally tech may be the shared focus, but …
How to help your introverted child
Rachel Goodchild offers strategies for helping your introverted child thrive in the outside world. We were off to a party. My four year old was incredibly excited — she had been talking about this day for weeks. One of her friends was turning five …
Mindfulness in parenting
Mindfulness: an ancient practice with relevance now appreciated in a modern context, including our parenting. Psychologist Dr Melanie Woodfield takes time to watch the sunset. There’s a place north of Auckland that has the best sunsets in New …
How to encourage a growth mindset
Gretchen Carroll explores how parents can help their children to love challenges, rather than worry about failure. If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again. You may well have grown up with this ancient adage, or found yourself quoting it …
Then and now: reflecting on parenting advice from 1946
Not long before Fiona Roberton and her husband Peter were due to have their first child, they went to the National Library in Wellington to view a book written by Peter’s late grandfather, Henry Roberton, who was a highly regarded Christchurch GP. …
Looking After Number One - You
A happy parent creates a happy child, so try these helpful tips from Christchurch psychologist Dr Alice Boyes to help you flourish in your new role. New parenthood is a time of great excitement, but also increased stress, as family dynamics change …
When disaster strikes: coping after the earthquakes
Emotional shock waves from the Christchurch earthquake will be felt throughout New Zealand for months to come. Psychologist Dr Melanie Woodfield offers advice to help you and your children cope. The earthquake that rocked Canterbury on February 22 …
Raising boys
What little boys are made of? How do little boys differ from little girls and do you need special skills to bring them up? Steve Biddulph explains in an extract from his highly acclaimed book, ‘Raising Boys’. Janine is pregnant — seven weeks …
Carly Flynn's parenting tips
She can (almost) laugh about it now, but when journalist and broadcaster Carly Flynn’s 3-year-old son, Jude, put cooked rice in his sister Tilly’s ear earlier this year, the consequences were quite serious. The 4-year-old had to have it removed at …
Six ways to teach kindness to your kids
We all want to raise caring children, but it can be hard to encourage these values. That’s why we love this website makingcaringcommon.org. It’s a project started by the Harvard Graduate School of Education that aims to help educators, parents and …
Teaching your child what REALLY matters
Our children’s little brains are sponges, soaking up information from their very first day. As Dr Melanie Woodfield explains, we parents are therefore hugely influential first teachers. Recently, while listening to music in the car, one of my sons …
An A-Z on Parenting
Mum-of-three Anne Johanson has some light-hearted advice on parenting, for anyone who'll listen. We are in the exciting position of having two sets of expectant first-time parents within our family, as both my brother and husband’s sister are due …
Five ways to help kids deal with a disaster
It's absolutely normal for a catastrophe such as an earthquake to bring about a change in our behaviour, whether we experienced it first-hand or heard about it through the media. It's normal to feel a sense that things are somewhat surreal and to …
Future-proof your child
Where did the parents of our Millennials go wrong? Watch as Simon Sinek explains how we can ensure our children aren't brought up with similar 'All About Me' attitudes. …
Kiwi parents giving their kids the world
While babies can clip the wings of most of us, other families continue to see the world as their playground. Melanie Dower asked fellow expat mums about their experiences raising kids abroad. Parenting into a whole new world where everyone is …
Peaceful parenting
At some point, most parents yell. Soon after, they wish they hadn’t. Dr Melanie Woodfield looks at what’s really happening when we raise our voices and how we can all turn down the volume. How many times have you made an early morning resolution …
How to deal with personality clashes with your kids
Understanding how personality differences may cause you to be irritated with your child can go a long way in helping you overcome frustration and effectively correct your child, writes Laurie Winslow Sargent. Have you ever felt a sudden flash of …
Parenting through separation
When parents separate, it can be especially difficult for children. Psychologist Pauline Ogilvy explains how communication can help to make the transition as stress-free as possible. Separation is a turbulent time for adults and children. Not only …
Swearing in front of your children
taking sides: potty mouth Does swearing in front of our kids teach them to use 'bad' language, or does vilifying swear words only increase their appeal? Here, two mums explain their opposing viewpoints on what's acceptable language when there are …
Team parents
Dr Matt Sanders, from the Triple P Positive Parenting Program, explains how to manage differences in parenting styles without too many arguments "Don't argue in front of the children", is an admonishment many parents may have heard at one time or …
Raising boys
Boys and girls are different - not only physically, but psychologically, and emotionally too. Psychologist Steve Biddulph insists that our approach to parenting boys also needs to be different. In this edited extract from the book Raising Boys, he …
Preparing toddlers for newborns
Expecting a new baby in the household it is typically an exciting time with much attention paid to this up coming event. Often owing to the uncertainty of when baby will arrive there is a need to pack and have arrangements in place for the care of …
Team Parents
Team Parents BY DR MATT SANDERS "Don't argue in front of the children", is an admonishment many parents may have heard at one time or another. As a psychologist I know the wisdom in this advice, but after many years working with families I don't …
7 "strength shots" to great relationships at home
As parents, we want our kids to be happy and confident. Christchurch counsellor and strengths finder coach Jenny Purkis offers her top tips for emotional wellbeing and developing a strong family unit. 1. Have a daily "debrief" with your child at …
How To Raise a Resilient Child
Forget helicopter parenting, teaching your child resilience will prepare him for life both mentally and physically, writes Rachel Goodchild. In the almost 14 years since I became a parent, I’ve taught my children so much more than I ever expected …
Being A Playful Parent
Life is busy and we all have stuff to do, so sadly fun has fallen off many a parent’s agenda. Miriam McCaleb puts the case for prioritising play. Once upon a time I was fun. As a young trainee teacher, I’d roam kindergarten with kids trailing like …
